Chicago River

In the comments on this post I mentioned Chicago.
I knew one day I would have a use for this picture:



Union Station is out of the picture to the left - it's the main train terminal where you come into the city. I'm not sure which street this is, but it's one of the bridges that cross the Chicago River and into the main part of downtown (to the right in the picture) - walking toward Lake Michigan.

Writing that -'the main part of downtown'- almost makes me laugh now, but it didn't back when I actually went downtown. The parts of town -the blocks and various neighborhoods- are like a West Virginian's knowledge of the names of the ridges and back roads. The same, but very, very different.

And, too, I have to point out the significance of 'I'm not sure which street this is.' I don't know because they all look the same to me. I know how cliche that sounds and I'm sure if someone from Chicago read this it would make them as mad as someone saying that all our hills look the same, but, for me, it's true. I found my way around by keeping Lake Michigan to the East in my brain and figuring out which east/west street I had to be on in order to make it back to Union Station (yes, they have names, but I can't remember them right now). Even when driving, if I kept Lake Michigan in my brain, I could find my way around. Mostly.
The kids used to only-half-jokingly ask, "Do you know where we're going, Mom?" I'd answer with a direction: north, south, east, west and they'd groan and crack jokes about being lost and never finding our way back to the house. But, really, if I could keep the map in my head, I was usually fine. I eventually got to know the main north-south and east-west roads and I was fine. Or as fine as I ever got in Chicago.
What I missed were the hills. Here, nestled in the hills, the directions are still there, but more important as directionals are the ridge lines and contours of the land. I never got used to the flat, square grid layout of Chicago.
[PC took this picture sometime in the past year when he was in Chicago on business (I haven't been there since we moved back here).]

I took a land management class while we lived there and one of the things that we studied was the history of the Chicago River. That's what this post was originally supposed to be about, but I kind of wandered off course, huh? Well, I'm running out of time this morning, but I'll get back to the Chicago River and my reasons for taking the class sometime soon....

Confession

Why is it that the words 'confession' and 'secret' can grab just about anyone's attention?

I hope I have yours.

In response to the Ask Dr. Ding post 'Confession is Good for the Soul' I have decided to reveal a secret of my own.

The other deciding factor was this blog: The Brazen Careerist, particularly Penelope's post 'My name is not really Penelope.'
I'm confused often enough as it is.

I have been keeping another blog.
If you read this one, you probably also read (or check in on occasionally) The Grafton 123 blog, so that's not a surprise.
However, I have another blog that until recently I did not claim as my own. I used a pseudonym and wrote things that didn't have anything to do with The 123 or myself as a writer.
But, the problem I'm finding is that everything about me has to do with writer me, rather it's about writing or not. A look at recent postings about body image and self-esteem is proof that anything that stirs me as a person ends up reflected in what I write.
Everything.
And to some degree it's the exposure that has kept me from writing some things that are important to me. Not only in this blog, but also for other outlets.
Just as importantly, the fear of exposure has prevented me from marketing myself and my writing with more vigor.
If I intend to write -and hopefully make any kind of living doing it- I am going to have to let go of some of my fears.

So, that's really what this post is about: letting go of my fears.
I am a real person and, like all good writing, my writing should reflect that.

No, I'm not going to give you the link to the other blog (it's coming down soon anyway), but I am going to -slowly- move some of the entries from there over to here.

And no, this doesn't mean that every subject is fair game. I still like my privacy and I'm not sure how I feel about plastering my kids' information all over the place, either.

What I'm saying is: I don't know where the lines of acceptable are. I suppose I will figure that out as I go along. But I do know that it's okay to be a real person and my feelings and thoughts are just as valid as anyone else's. I don't know why I have such trouble with that (okay, I have a few ideas, but I won't get into that right now...).